Parenting Styles:

Parenting like a pro requires you to have all the tools you need at your finger tips to get the job done right.  Your parenting style can work against you and your child’s relationship, as well as your goals for training your child’s behavior.  In fact, your parenting style can be setting in misbehavior patterns much like heat sets in a stain.  Yep it’s true if we spent more time changing and controlling our style of parenting rather then controlling and changing our children we would set the stage to motivate them to change themselves. We can’t ever make our job as parents easy but we can become more efficient at our jobs which certainly will produce better results for our efforts.

            As you review the common styles of parenting and identify which style you parent in, take the time to consider what your style teaches your child.  Understand that style is referring to your body language, facial expressions, tone of voice and the words you use. 

Three Parenting Styles:

1. Authoritarian = Drill Sergeant Approach  

Ø     The use of commands & demands 

Child Learns:

·        Fear / Resentment

·        Not to Think for Themselves

·        Feels Helpless

·        Lacks Self-Control

·        To manipulate and lie

·        A Push back response

·        Trust is under developed

They may be obedient and skillful but they rank low in happiness, social competence and self-esteem and as a rule they deal with a lot of anger.

2. Permissive = Giving in Approach

Ø     The use of Disconnected or Inconsistent messages

Child Learns:

• They do not have to be Responsible
• Little to No problem solving skills
• Difficulty Getting Along With Others
• That No means Maybe
• To Manipulate
• That wants and needs are the same
• Unhealthy Boundaries

These children have the most trouble with self- regulating behavior and submitting to authority.  Their achievement in school has a propensity to be poor. I strongly hold the opinion that this parenting style produces bullies. 

3. Assertive/Democratic = Coaching Approach

Ø     The use of Giving choices

Child Learns:

• Problem Solving Skills
• To Be Responsible
•  Respect for Self and Others
•  Cooperation
•  Healthy boundaries
•  Clarity of wants vs. needs

These children are content, well balanced, capable and successful.

          Multitudes of studies have been done to authenticate the impact of parenting styles on children.  After reviewing this information I am sure you would conclude as I have, that making some adjustments in how we interact with our children would be a great gift to both parent and child.  Consider your parenting style as your tool box in which all your discipline techniques rest in. 

To learn more about the methods of the Assertive / democratic parenting style and to refine your skills consider attending one of my classes as well as following the blog.